The Elderly Caregiving Struggle Is Real—But You’re Not Alone

Cindy Davis
Jun 17
6 min read

Elderly woman in wheelchair with adult children being pushed up ramp

In conversations with friends or coworkers, you may have an inkling you’re not the only one doing this. Maybe someone has mentioned helping their dad with appointments, or juggling work with a mom’s new diagnosis. What you may not realize is just how many people are traveling the same road alongside you today—and how many have walked it before.

Many loved ones require care because they’re living with multiple chronic conditions—like diabetes, arthritis, COPD, or heart disease—that make everyday tasks harder or require nursing support. Others are navigating serious illnesses like Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease or facing the physical and emotional toll of a terminal diagnosis such as cancer.

Family caregivers share more than a role—they share a reality. The hours are long, the responsibilities often relentless, and the emotional weight can be heavy. In this post, we won’t just tell you what the research shows—we’ll help you see how the numbers reflect your own lived experience. And along the way, you may find a few lightbulb moments that offer clarity, connection, or even a sense of direction.

You’re One of Millions

You might feel like the only one racing between doctor’s appointments and work calls, but you’re in very good—and growing—company.

In 2022, the Bureau of Labor statistics estimated 37 million people—were providing care for someone aged 50 or older. That means 1 in 7 adults were managing doctor visits, meals, medications, and maybe even middle-of-the-night phone calls from a parent, spouse, or friend who wants help.

And the need is only rising. Each day, about 11,400 adults turn 65 and begin qualifying for Medicare. As the Baby Boomer generation continues to age, more families—maybe even yours—will take on this role in some way.

A Quiet Truth. If 1 in 7 adults are caring for an older adult, how many people around you—at work, in your neighborhood, in your own family—might be on the same path? And if caregiving is that common, doesn’t it make sense that you’re not alone?

Informal Caregiving Isn’t Just You—It’s People Like You

You may picture a family caregiver as someone older, maybe retired, with plenty of free time. But that’s rarely the case. Most are in the thick of their own lives—working, raising kids, managing households—when the need to support a loved one begins. The average informal caregiver is around 49 years old. Nearly half are under 50, right in their prime income earning years.

A Quiet Truth. Most caregivers aren’t retired—they’re in their 40s and 50s, often balancing work, kids, and everything else life throws at them. If that sounds like you, it’s because you’re exactly where many find themselves.

And while it’s true that 61% of family caregivers are women, nearly 40% are men. If you’re a man in this role, too are not alone—even if the world doesn’t always talk about your experience.

A Quiet Truth. If you’re a woman feeling invisible or a man feeling overlooked, know this: caregiving is a reality shared across genders, and your experience matters.

Family caregivers also reflect the country’s full racial, ethnic, and economic diversity. The demographic breakdown largely mirrors that of the U.S. population overall—and as the country becomes more diverse, so too does the informal support system. Whether you’re navigating this role with a high income or scraping by paycheck to paycheck, the role adds strain—especially for hourly workers with less flexibility, or for those running their own businesses who may lack backup support. No matter your circumstances, these commitments can stretch your time, energy, and resources to the limit.

The Family Caregiving Hours Add Up

Some weeks it feels like you're always on. Picking up medications, running errands, bathing or feeding, making endless calls to coordinate procedures. That’s because, in many ways, you are always on.

On average, elderly caregivers spend 24 hours a week providing support—and for many, that’s on top of full-time work. If your loved one lives with you? That average jumps to nearly 37 hours—essentially another full-time job. One in four caregivers clocks more than 40 hours each week tending to a loved one.

A Quiet Truth. If caregiving takes 24 hours a week on average, how close are you to that number? Or have you already surpassed it—without even realizing it? It’s not just what happens in person. Time spent worrying, organizing prescriptions, or researching options counts too.

And it's not just a temporary season of life. The average elder care journey lasts 4.5 years, but for nearly 1 in 3 caregivers, the role stretches beyond 5 years. If you're between the ages of 50 and 64, you’re more likely to be in it for the long haul—averaging 5.6 years. That’s half a decade of rearranging schedules, putting others first, and constantly adjusting to new medical, emotional, and logistical challenges.

A Quiet Truth. If someone told you you’d be taking care of a loved one for five years or more, would you plan anything differently? It’s not a sprint. Knowing how long caregiving can last doesn’t make the load lighter—but it can help you think differently about how to pace yourself, ask for help, and prepare for what’s ahead.

The Value You Provide—Even Without a Paycheck

There may be days when it feels like what you’re doing is invisible. You don’t clock in. There’s no paycheck, no 401(k) match, and certainly no PTO. But the truth is, what you’re providing is worth more than most people realize, financially.

In 2015, AARP estimated the economic value of unpaid family caregiving in the U.S. was estimated at $470 billion. By 2020, that number climbed to $600 billion and by 2022 it was approaching $1 trillion. That’s a big investment. The value of family caregiver hours in 2022 was three times more than the $324 billion Medicare and Medicaid spent on nursing homes ($191 Billion) or home health care ($133 Billion), combined.

Why? It’s simple math. Because an estimated 37 to 42 million informal, unpaid caregivers provide between 48 to 52 billion hours of unpaid support a year. If you assigned even a modest hourly rate—$18.12, the median U.S. hourly wage in 2022—that time would be valued at $828 to $933 billion annually.

A Quiet Truth. You may not get paid for what you do—but what if you counted it anyway? Each hour you provide has real economic value, whether it’s time you could be earning income elsewhere or hours of professional help you’re replacing with love and labor. And if you’re the one carrying the bulk of the load—often because you live closest—it’s important to recognize the weight of that sacrifice. For those checking in from a distance, acknowledging that contribution—and finding ways to ease the burden—can mean everything.

Why Informal Caregiving Knowledge Helps You Plan

For many family caregivers, things start small: a few extra check-ins, a couple of errands, a doctor’s appointment here or there. But time passes, needs grow, and before long, you’re managing something much bigger. What may have begun as a temporary role becomes an ongoing commitment.

Yet for all the energy caregivers give, too few families are prepared for what’s ahead. Fewer than half of the recipients have a plan in place for future needs—covering financial decisions, health preferences, or living arrangements. Nearly 2 in 5 don’t have any plans at all. And 1 in 5 caregivers aren’t even sure if a plan exists.

Even among caregivers themselves, just 45% say they’ve made plans for their own well being in the future. It’s not that people are blissfully unaware—it’s that talking about aging, decline, and death is hard. And when the day-to-day feels all-consuming, long-term planning can feel like a luxury.

But having a plan—any plan—makes a difference. It can clarify decisions, prevent conflict, and give everyone involved more peace of mind.

A Quiet Truth. Aging doesn’t wait until you’re ready. But if you take the time to talk through what might come next, you may find it’s easier to respond with intention, not just urgency. A little planning now can spare your future self—and your loved ones—from a lot of stress later.

You’re Not Alone—And You’re Not Powerless

Caregiving can feel invisible—especially when you’re shouldering so much of the weight behind closed doors. But you're part of a much bigger story. Millions of others are navigating similar paths, juggling similar pressures, and feeling many of the same things you do.

Understanding just how widespread this role is, how long it can last, and how much value it holds isn’t about adding pressure—it’s about reclaiming perspective. You’re not “just helping out.” You’re doing essential work, often during one of the busiest and most meaningful stretches of your life.

In the next post, we’ll turn the spotlight toward the people you're caring for—who they are, what conditions and circumstances shape their needs, and how understanding their experience can help you better navigate your own.

If this post resonated with you, share it. You’re likely not the only one in your circle trying to figure this out. A friend, coworker, or family member might be quietly carrying the same load—and hearing that they’re not alone could make all the difference.